Struggling with Dry January? I get it

Happy new year! As the nation recovers from the excesses of the festive period, it's reported that over 8 million of us will quit alcohol for the month of January. Some will fly through it, and enter February full of energy; but for others, it's not that easy.

I was one of the 'not that easy' crowd when I was drinking. Or at least I was by the time I stopped drinking four years ago. Abstaining from alcohol for more than a couple of days was a real challenge for me, and I often didn't last the full month.

So why is it so hard for some people and not for others? To be totally honest with you, I don't think I will ever understand those people who can leave half a glass of wine on the table in a restaurant just because they've finished their meal. But now I know myself better, I definitely have more of an insight into why I used to struggle.

Habit

I'll start with an easy one first - habit. Opening a bottle of wine was second nature to my while I was preparing my dinner. Living alone, it was my companion as I sat on the sofa watching telly. Popping into the supermarket to buy food for my dinner, the wine aisle was always visited; spotting the familiar labels and grabbing a bottle without a second thought.

That was the problem - without a second thought. I didn't think about drinking, because it just happened. Unscrewing the bottle and reaching for that glass from the cupboard became muscle memory, Easy.

Sugar Cravings

Althought I was never physically addicted to alcohol, I hadn't appreciated at the time how much sugar I was consuming in the form of alcohol. I didn't think I had a sweet tooth - I would very rarely have a dessert if I was out for a meal ("You have one, I'll just get a glass of wine") and would often swerve cakes or chocolate when brought into work.

In actuality, there can be around 10g of sugar in a bottle of dry white wine; the equvalent of four squares of Dairy Milk according to Cadbury's website. If your body is used to getting that hit at, say, 6pm - it will still expect it when you stop drinking.

If, like me, you are not aware of this sugar content, especially in dry wine, you don't know how to deal with what your body is trying to tell you. I didn't have a sweet tooth, remember - so I didn't have chocolate in the house. So instead of grabbing a handful of haribo and going on my merry (happy) way, I would feel crap and life would be tough. A couple of days of that, and dry January wouldn't seem like a good idea and old habits would creep back in.

My brain was a dick I drank to numb out the shit in my life. That is the harsh truth. It took me a lot longer to admit this than I would have liked in sobriety; but the fact is, alcohol was absolutely brilliant at helping me ignore the crap in my life I didn't want to deal with.

You've got to hand it to it, if you want to ignore things in your life that need dealing with, grab a bottle of booze.

I won't go into details here - I've covered a lot of stuff in other blogs and will probably go into this again in the future - but when I decided to give quitting alcohol a go, I was in a pretty dark place. I was deeply unhappy, lonely, unhealthy. I didn't like myself. I didn't really care about myself.

Take away the easiest way to forget the shit; and all of a sudden you're faced with reality. Unless you're willing to do all the work on sorting that out, which my sobriety has thankfully given me time to do - what else are you going to do other than reach for that good old, reliable crutch of booze.

I live alone - who would know?

Ah, the good old accountability issue. I live alone, so if I don't do the month, who would know? Who would care? If I don't like myself, and I'm not doing it with a partner - what's the actual point?

When I decided to quit, because I'd done some work about my relationship with alcohol before I made the decision - I was doing it for me. With all the emotions linked to that decision, again - not for here - I knew that it was something I needed to do to give myself the best chance of even the basest level of happiness.

But with having a month off - nah, what's the point. I didn't care enough about myself to commit to it, so I wasn't successful. 'White knuckling' it was not enough for me to see it to the end of the month.

So if you're struggling with Dry January, maybe some of those issues are the same for you. Hopefully you'll have more knowledge to have a dairy milk if the sugar craving hits of an evening.

If you're struggling without the emotional crutch, maybe that's something for you to consider - what do you need to do about it for your long-term happiness? Because, and I say this as someone who has been there - ignoring the shit in your life isn't a long term plan.

And if it's habit? Maybe you're just a bit bored and it fills an evening - well what could you do instead?

Or if struggling this month is making you consider your longer-term relationship with alcohol, working with a Sobriety coach may just help you to make it click once and for all. If you'd like to chat about working with me, book a chat with me here.