Living alone presents a unique challenge if you're starting to be privately concerned about your relationship with alcohol. I wrote a blog about it, and you can read that here if you'd like to.
Although there are the challenges, there are also some pretty solid positives to living alone when you decide to quit alcohol and enter a life of sobriety. The main one, in my opinion, is that you are solely responsible for that passes over your threshold. If you live with someone else, especially someone who isn't quitting booze, there is always the possibility of encountering unexpected wine in the fridge, gin in the cupboard or other additions to the drinks cabinet that previously you would have encouraged..
This lack of interference in your space by a third party is a real positive. Although there isn't anyone around to pop to the shop so you don't have to - but with a but of planning you can get grocery deliveries to cover the first month or so of sobriety so you're not tempted by alcohol aisles. It gives you full control of the temptations within your home environment; where you should feel at your safest and calmest.
One thing living alone does is force you to prioritise your inner resolve, and your accountability to yourself. If you've "moderated" in the past - any by that I mean come up with some bizarre rules out of thin air one day like "I won't drink on a Tuesday if it's rained before 10am" - you'll know how easy it is to go back on your word when there's no one watching.
The truth is, if you did decide to drink, no one would know. In the same way no one knows what you're eating for your dinner, what you're watching on your TV or what time you're going to bed, you are accountable only to yourself. This can make it bloody difficult,
A lot of people change when they're sober; I know I have; and one of those things is holding myself accountable and living in a way that is attuned to my values and beliefs. When I think about why I used to drink, it was out of habit, loneliness and a lack of belief in myself or my worth. In the last 30 months, I've done "the work" to break the habits and work on the way I think about myself.
Living alone maybe forces your hand on when you start to do this work. You're accountable to yourself, so going from "should" or "need" to quit alcohol to wanting to cut it out of your life is essential. And to do that, you need to change the things that were making you want to drink in the first place. This is where working with a coach can really help build your inner strength and cement the foundations you pin your life without alcohol on. Whether it's looking at your core values and how your behaviour aligns with them, or reviewing the different elements of your life and how practical changes can improve them - it can be hard to do it alone. Because it's not easy; it is emotional, it makes you vulnerable - and being guided through it really helps to navigate the process, especially if you're someone who's 'go to' is to be self critical.
If you'd like to talk about how we could work together to build that life without alcohol that you crave, book a discovery call with me here.
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