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  • Writer's pictureChristine Coulson

When I knew things had to change...

Updated: Jan 22


Person in bed covered by duvet

I was lying in bed, head pounding and feeling sick after another night of drinking that didn’t go to plan. I couldn’t believe I was cancelling plans again. This had to stop.


The night before hadn’t been a crazy night with friends, no massive party. Work had been tough so as soon as I’d taken my coat off, I open a bottle of wine. It was gone with my usual speed; habitually quaffed alone on my sofa. A second was opened - not finished but significantly dinted. As I lay in bed the shame washed over me as the realisation that I had to cancel this morning’s plans; questionably unfit to drive, definitely unfit for company. My friend replied almost immediately, the coldness of her response causing me to throw the phone to the duvet.


The strength of my nausea was only overtaken by my anxiety. Why didn’t I stop at one bottle? Why couldn’t I? It was time to face the truth – alcohol was starting to impact on my life in a way that was worrying; this can’t be good for me. Enough was enough.


As I lay motionless in bed, I felt a paralysing fear take over me. What if I couldn’t change? And equally petrifying – what if I could?


That’s the fear, isn’t it.


When you know you don’t have a good relationship with alcohol the thought of nothing changing is terrifying. But the enormity of everything changing is just as frightening - maybe more so.


At that point, I couldn’t even begin to see my life without alcohol in it. Wine played a part in almost all elements of my social life; my interactions with friends and accompanied my time at home, watching TV alone.


I knew things had to change - but what on earth would happen I did quit alcohol?? I was getting along OK, I wasn’t hitting rock bottom - if everything was ticking along why risk the unknown?


Thankfully, I decided to take that step into the unknown. I made the decision that day that my relationship with alcohol would change forever. And as I sit here 21 months on, I am living proof that change is possible and my life, without hyperbole, is entirely better without alcohol in it. I am so pleased I quit alcohol.


Now, as a Sobriety coach, I’m so fortunate that I’m able to support other people who, just like me, are fed up of alcohol being that little too dominant in their life. People who know they want to make that positive change in their life but don’t know where to start, or those who just need that additional support and accountability as they quit booze and embrace life without it.


If you are at that stage where you want to take back control, I’m here to help. Drop me the message "CHAT" here and I'll get in touch, if you want to know more; or if you feel it's time to make your change; you can book a free discovery call with me today to talk about how I can support you as you venture onto your sober path


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